New Year’s Eve: Why can’t real life be more like this?

What’s on now: Watching Fast Five the old-fashioned way, with a TV and a DVD player.

There are a few reasons why I gave up listening to film critics a long time ago. Movies like New Year’s Eve is one of them.

I love Love, Actually and Valentine’s Day, and knowing New Year’s Eve would be in that style (multiple intersecting story arcs and a large, star-studded ensemble cast), I decided to give it a try despite the somewhat blistering reviews it received. And guess what? I loved this one, too!

Okay, okay. Honestly, it is basically Valentine’s Day all over again, just on a different holiday. A noticeable chunk of the cast was even the same. But then again, what could we really expect when the two flicks have the same writer and director? I don’t think it counts as a rip-off when you’re obviously not even bothering to try to hide the similarities. I prefer to think of it as a sort of Chapter 2. Coming in 2012, Chapter 3: St. Patrick’s Day! Just kidding. Although it is probably true.

One nice flavor that sets it somewhat apart from Valentine’s Day is the more diverse array of relationships explored in New Year’s Eve. Valentine’s Day is all about lovers, after all. But New Year’s Eve can include much more than that, like parent-child, lover-lover and friend-friend. Same equation, different formula, if that makes any sense. Math was never my forte.

The cast of this movie was one of the things that drew me in, since it’s one of those movies that people would say “has everyone in it.” And that’s not too far off from accurate, either. To name the main folk (and for the sake of my sanity I’m only going to list names): Ashton Kutcher, Lea Michele, Zac Efron, Michelle Pfeiffer, Katherine Heigl, Jessica Biel, Jon Bon Jovi, Sofia Vergara, Hilary Swank, Hector Elizondo, Ludacris, Robert DeNiro, Halle Berry, Sarah Jessica Parker, Josh Duhamel, Abigail Breslin, Cary Elwes and Seth Meyers. Phew.

New Year’s Eve follows multiple storylines in the style of its predecessor, with the various characters all interconnected in some way. Some of the stories include a pregnant couple hoping their baby will be the first born in 2012 (Biel and Meyers), a woman who hires a bike messenger to help her fulfill her New Year’s resolutions (Pfeiffer and Efron), a caterer at odds with the rock ‘n’ roll star who broke her heart (Heigl and Bon Jovi) and two neighbors who are trapped together in an elevator (Kutcher and Michele). There are a couple more, but those are my personal favorites.

The movie was full of laughs, smiles and “awwws,” at least from me. I loved the climax, when storylines started coming together more quickly and with more urgency and I got swept up in the guessing of who will end up with who, and will it all work out for everyone. Because they keep a thing or two secret til the very end.

If I had to pick my absolute favorite “relationship,” I think I would have to pick Biel and Meyers’ pregnant couple. They were very cute and funny together, going through all sorts of antics to desperately try and get their baby to come out at the right time. You see, whoever has the first 2012 baby in their hospital gets $25,000. The two of them end up in a hilarious competition with another pregnant couple going for the same payday. The other father-to-be is played by Inglourious Basterds’ Til Schweiger, who looks just about as scary as he did as a Nazi-killer. He’s probably a perfectly nice man, but I don’t think I would ever want to compete with him for pretty much anything. Ever. I’d be too afraid he’d snap and go all Hugo Stiglitz on me.

Favorite character on their own, however, goes to Zac Efron. I must be all girly for a moment, please excuse me. DAMN, baby boy grew up good! Hard to believe it's only been five or so years since High School Musical, but Zac seems to be growing into a big ol’ muscular heartthrob, and his acting chops aren’t half bad, either. His snarky bike messenger has a real sweet side, as evidenced when he agrees to help an older woman (Pfeiffer) realize some dreams of hers. Their story arc is one of the few not centered around a romantic relationship, but it’s still delightful, if at times slightly cougarish. And Zac’s dancing at the very end of the movie is nothing short of awesome.

Grab a date, grab a friend or go alone, but go see New Year’s Eve if you’re in the mood for a fun, sweet uplifter. Critics blasted it for being sappy. Yeah, it kinda was, but you know what? I like sappy. I don’t go to the movies to see realistic romances. Real-life romance is barely romance at all. I walked out of the theatre with a smile on my face, and I’m going to put New Year’s Eve on my shopping list for when it comes out on DVD.

Can’t wait for the next installment. I’m pulling for a St. Patrick’s Day-themed movie next. Thanksgiving is probably more likely. Or maybe the Fourth of July. Heck, they could make a movie like this about Labor Day and I’d probably still go see it. 

And like it.

Starring: Ashton Kutcher, Lea Michele, Zac Efron, Michelle Pfeiffer, Katherine Heigl, Jessica Biel, Jon Bon Jovi, Sofia Vergara, Hilary Swank, Hector Elizondo, Ludacris, Robert DeNiro, Halle Berry, Sarah Jessica Parker, Josh Duhamel, Abigail Breslin, Cary Elwes, Seth Meyers

Directed by: Garry Marshall

Written by: Katharine Fugate

Rated PG-13

2011

Gnomeo & Juliet: Star-crossed lawn ornaments

What’s on now: Just finished Batman: Under the Red Hood. … Don’t judge me.

As I’ve said before, I don’t think it’s wrong for an adult to enjoy a “for kids” movie once in a while. Let’s just hope I don’t make a habit of it.

Gnomeo & Juliet was a pleasant surprise. I didn’t think I was going to like it for some reason. Looking back, I can’t pinpoint a specific thing about the trailer or a particular rumor that made me think that. But at any rate, it was nice that it was offered on Netflix streaming, or else I probably would have never seen it.

It’s usually a very good sign when a movie puts a smile on your face with the first line. In the case of Gnomeo & Juliet, a tiny, awkward little gnome comes out onto a stage, clears his throat, and says this, deadpan:

“The story you’re about to see has been told before… a lot.”

It’s funnier when you see it for yourself. When a movie or TV show somehow acknowledges its own quirks or makes fun of itself in some way, we’re in for a good time.

James McAvoy (X-Men: First Class, Atonement) and Emily Blunt (Wild Target, The Devil Wears Prada) lend their voices to the two title characters. The cast was stocked with a few other big names as well, including Michael Caine (The Dark Knight), Maggie Smith (Harry Potter) and Jason Statham (Snatch.). Patrick Stewart (X-Men) even had a small cameo as the voice of William Shakespeare’s statue. Although, my personal favorite casting choice by far was Ozzy Osbourne as Fawn, a somewhat dim-witted reindeer lawn ornament.

The movie was fairly set on following the basic plot of Romeoand Juliet, so I was a little concerned about how they were going to address the whole mass murder/suicide subplot that Ol’ Bill seemed suspiciously fond of in his works. Funny thing is, they even mentioned that in the film. In one scene, Gnomeo is talking to Shakespeare’s statue, looking for advice, when the statue says in his version of the story, the lovers both die in the end. Gnomeo is amusingly horrified at the prospect and pretty much writes the statue off as decidedly nuts and walks away.

Basic plot is fairly easy to surmise for anyone who ever had to take a literature class. Two feuding families (in this case, lawn ornaments from two neighboring gardens) can’t stand each other. Odd, seeing as there’s a huge fence separating them. They are competitive, racing lawn mowers and trying to outdo each other with their landscape architecture. No dance-fighting, though, unfortunately.

Enter Gnomeo, from the blue garden, and Juliet, from the red garden. They meet, and naturally it’s love at first sight, even when they find out they’re supposed to hate each other. They continue meeting in secret, until the fateful day when the ceramic-on-ceramic carnage reaches an all-time high and they find themselves in the crossfire.

Elton John supplied the tunes, which I thought was kind of random. But it worked out fine. It lent a sort of light-heartedness to a story based on the most famed, depressing and heartbreakingly hopeless love story ever written. Let’s be real, Romeo and Juliet is the mother of all love stories, even though nobody lives happily ever after (spoiler alert). Gnomeo & Juliet was a cute, kid-friendly take on a timeless tale.

And best of all, I went this entire post without using the term “star-crossed lovers.”

I’m going on a little Thanksgiving vacation for the next week or so. But I’ll be back next week with something a little different!

Starring: James McAvoy, Emily Blunt, Michael Caine, Maggie Smith, Jason Statham, Ozzy Osbourne, Patrick Stewart

Directed by: Kelly Asbury

Rated G

2011

Rio: Angry Birds: The Movie

What’s on now: Alternating betwixt The Office and Glee streaming on Netflix. Or at least trying to, since the wifi is spotty at best in here.

I don’t think it’s wrong for adults to watch kids’ movies from time to time, even if they’re not parents. Let’s face it, there are usually plenty of jokes in there for us, too. And sometimes it’s nice to just watch something cute and funny and light.   

Rio tells the story of a blue macaw named Blu, voiced by The Social Network’s JesseEisenberg. See what they did there? Well, it could be worse. They could have left the e on there. It’s kind of like if they had simply named Simba “Lion” instead in The Lion King. Oh wait… they did.

Blu is caught by smugglers when he is just a little baby bird, quite possibly one of the cutest things I have ever seen. The bird, not the smuggling. He ends up in Moose Lake, Minnesota in the care of a little girl named Linda. He grows up with her as her best friend, and apparently only friend, since we are shown photographic evidence that the bird was her prom date. (Now that’s a whole new level of lonely, kids.) They grow up together and when she’s an adult, Linda runs her own bookstore. Because, you know, girls who like books all wear thick glasses, are socially inept, have no friends to speak of and bring pets to prom. It was like looking in the mirror for me.

One day, a Brazilian ornithologist (word of the day!) named Tulio, who happens to be just as socially inept as Linda, shows up and asks them both to come back to Rio de Janeiro, Brazil with him. Turns out Blu is the last known male of his species, and Tulio wants to breed him with the last known female, which is in Brazil. Linda agrees and we’re off on our adventure.

Things really get going when Blu and Jewel (Anne Hathaway) are stolen from their intended love shack by smugglers. I’m sensing a pattern in Blu’s life here. From there, with the help of a handful of local birds and a fruit-hat-wearing bulldog named Luiz (yes, you read that correctly), the last two blue macaws in Rio have to work together to find their human friends and escape the smugglers and the criminally insane cockatoo in their employ (yes, you read that one right, too).

My personal favorite bit was the casting of Flight of the Conchords’ Jemaine Clement as the voice of Nigel, the aforementioned homicidal cockatoo. He’s one of those people that you probably have no idea who he is unless you know exactly who he is. Kind of like in Pirates of the Caribbean, where the Isla de Muerta can only be found by those who already know where it is. Sanity-shattering paradox aside, Clement was fun in the role, and even had a very Conchords-esque musical number. Come to think of it, I wonder if he wrote it… Excuse me while I consult my sources… … … He helped write it, yes. Cool.

Overall, I would say Rio was kind of cute. Certainly not the best animated flick I’ve seen most recently. That honor at the moment belongs to How to Train Your Dragon. But Rio has a few good points.

First off, the music is pretty good. One or two of the songs were toe-tappers, and will.i.am and Jamie Foxx even had small roles as two sidekick birds with their fair share of fun quirks. The animation was as good as it typically is these days, and I do admire whoever was responsible for making sure every feather was in place and moving properly. Sounds complicated to me anyway. For all I know, it takes one guy 10 minutes during post-production.

In all, it was okay. Kids might like it better than I did. But I’ll take that as a good thing.

Come to think of it... There should be an Angry Birds movie!

Starring: Jesse Eisenberg, Anne Hathaway, will.i.am, Jamie Foxx, Jemaine Clement, Tracy Morgan, George Lopez, Leslie Mann, Rodrigo Santoro

Directed by: Carlos Saldanha

Rated G

2011

Safe House: A safe bet

What’s on now: Trolling IMDB for new movie trailers.

I think I found my February movie!

Backstory: I’m on a tight budget. Now that my fledgling self has officially left the nest and I am no longer living on my parents’ dime, I have to (gasp) save whatever I can so as not to go broke or hungry. Ah, freedom. Thy name is Spaghettios.

Anywho, due to the aforementioned budget constraints, I have decided to limit myself to only one new-movie outing per month. So, monthly I spring for a ticket to the nice theatre in town (you know, the kind where the floors are not coated in questionable amounts of stickiness). That means I have to wait for the best movie and take a leap of faith. So far, the system has worked out fine, and I have yet to be disappointed by a movie-of-the-month. Captain America was September’s and Real Steel was November’s, in case you were wondering. I owe myself an October. I’m saving it for when all the big deal flicks come out during the Christmas season.

On to the real reason for this post. I recently saw the first trailer for a February release called Safe House. I’d heard rumors of it already, but nothing more than the basic plot and unconfirmed cast.

The plot didn’t draw me in so much as the cast. Denzel Washington and Ryan Reynolds? In the same movie?? Sign me up! Washington brings the lion’s share of the acting chops and Reynolds… well, he wasn’t voted the Sexiest Man Alive for no reason! And he can act too, of course, I’m not trying to objectify the poor man. He gets that enough from… well, everybody. But I think he’s definitely shown he can keep up with someone of Washington’s seasoned caliber, especially after Buried. That one still affects me months after watching it once. I shouldn’t have watched it alone in the dark. Lesson learned.

Even so, Safe House doesn’t exactly seem like it’s going to be the kind of flick that demands too much serious acting from either of them. It ain’t exactly Shakespeare. It looks like it’s another cerebro-politico-action movie, kind of along the lines of The Bourne Identity or Salt or maybe even a little like Mission: Impossible. Yup, you guessed it, Safe House is another CIA movie. But I don’t mean that pessimistically!

Based on the preview and online synopses, Washington plays Tobin Frost, an ex-CIA operative who has gone rogue. Reynolds is Matt Weston, a relatively green (lol) non-operative employee of the agency, whose fairly boring job is to babysit the CIA safe house in Johannesburg, South Africa. Weston wants nothing more than to get enough experience so he can do something more than sit in an empty bunker all day, but he feels like his job is a waste of time. Can you see the irony coming yet?

Weston’s boring job gets a sudden jolt when Frost is brought into the safe house as a dangerous prisoner. Then things really fall to crap when someone starts attacking the safe house, presumably to retrieve Frost. It falls on Weston to keep Frost both safe and in custody. What follows is a slam-bang cat-and-mouse game between Weston, Frost and whoever is trying to kill them. Vera Farmiga (Up in the Air, Source Code) and Brendan Gleeson (Troy, Kingdom of Heaven) also star.

The trailer is rife with blazing guns, car chases, car crashes, things that go boom and plenty of yelling and running. All the necessary ingredients for a halfway decent action flick!   

Well, I don’t know about you, but I’m looking forward to it. One thing’s for sure, something pretty crazy-awesome is going to have to come along to knock Safe House out of the frontrunner spot for my February movie.

Starring: Denzel Washington, Ryan Reynolds, Vera Farmiga, Brendan Gleeson

Directed by: Daniel Espinosa

Rated NYR

2012

Transformers DotM: Not much more than meets the eye

What’s on now: Catching up on Supernatural. Sigh, Jensen Ackles and Jared Padalecki are so very very awesome.

Apparently I’m on a robot-violence kick.

The latest installment in the Transformers saga, Transformers: Dark of the Moon, was pretty much exactly what I was expecting – a whole lot of flash, not a lot of sustenance. I do strive to be fair, however, so I have to admit I was very pessimistic about it going in. I liked the first film, but the second one was “meh” at best, "WTF" at worst. The third one was on the same level as the second.

Part of the problem, I think, was that it tried too hard to be funny. There were too many goofy antics from too many characters. If or when the robots take over the world (mostly depending on whether the aliens or zombies get there first), somehow I don’t think we’ll be laughing about it. Not until we’ve all gone stark raving mad from the post traumatic stress, that is. Snark, sarcasm, and gallows humor I could understand in that situation, not slapstick.

The plot is basically the same as the last two movies. Autobots good, Decepticons bad. Decepticons enact devious plans, Autobots team up with usual suspects consisting of awkward kid, awkward kid’s mega-hot girlfriend, and a handful of America’s finest to stop aforementioned devious plans. 

Shia LaBeouf reprises his role as awkward kid Sam Witwicky, who is struggling to find a job since there isn’t much call for people who majored in extra-terrestrial delegation. That just goes to show you, kids, getting a job is all about the interview. It doesn’t matter where you went to school or how many times you’ve saved the world or how unrealistically hot your girlfriend is, if you’re a total spaz in front of the prospective boss, you’re going to be living with mommy a little while longer.

Josh Duhamel, Tyrese Gibson and John Turturro return in their previous roles as well. Victoria’s Secret model Rosie Huntington-Whiteley is a newcomer as Sam’s new girlfriend. Megan Fox was fired from the gig for some questionable comments made in a Wonderland Magazine interview in 2009, comparing director Michael Bay to a certain insane German dictator from the 1940s. The comments, though they barely bothered Bay (say that five times fast), certainly ruffled the feathers of executive producer Steven Spielberg, and he ordered her firing.

Overall, it was just overdone, and it ended kind of abruptly. The acting was too melodramatic, except for John Malkovich’s. He usually plays crazy anyway, so his performance was actually perfectly normal. The comedy was too goofy, forced and over-done, and the action… well, it’s a Michael Bay movie. Over-the-top action is kind of par for the course and is actually excusable in this case. There are over a dozen giant alien robots doing battle on the streets of Chi-Town, after all.

I will say this, I have a ton of respect for the special effects crew. I wonder how many programmers, designers and computer geeks sacrificed their sanity to make the robot fights look so good. I mean, you could see every little sprocket, gear, plate, paint chip, speck of dirt, every part of every robot. And that scene with the skyscraper cracking in half andfalling over that was the headliner of all the trailers? That was pretty cool. Because apparently the Decepticons have access to a kraken. Deceptikraken.

In summary, if you liked the first two movies, the third is more of the same. Mindless action, weird humor, giant robot battles, loud noises and hot chicks. For me, it was only so-so. For you? I would say go by your reaction to the second film. If you liked it, you might like this one, too. If you hated it… you probably won’t miss this one all that much.

Now, I’m off to go sign up for base jumping lessons, because apparently it’s going to be a necessary skill during the robot apocalypse.

Starring: Shia LaBeouf, Rosie Huntington-Whiteley, Josh Duhamel, Tyrese Gibson, John Turturro, Frances McDormand and John Malkovich

Directed by: Michael Bay

Rated PG-13

2011

 

Real Steel: Bumblebee hits the boxing ring

What’s on now: Taking a break from the streaming TV shows from the moment, going with the good, old-fashioned iTunes mix. It’s the only place I can listen to Eminem, Gustav Holst, Taylor Swift, Imogen Heap and the Moulin Rouge! soundtrack without ever having to switch stations.

Remember almost a year ago in December 2010 when I preliminarily reviewed a first-look promo for Real Steel? Well, break out the sparkling cider, ’cause this blog has survived long enough to follow up!

Was it an Oscar-worthy plunge into the murky, codependent relationship between man and machine? No. Was that what I was really expecting from it? Hell no. Well, was it at least fun? Totally!

I love sports movies. It doesn’t even matter that they’re all pretty much the same movie done over and over again. Protagonist has trouble winning at (insert sport here). Antagonist is egotistical jerk. Protagonist faces life-altering event. Protagonist trains butt off. Protagonist faces antagonist in final winner-take-all clash in which protagonist is the underdog is some way, shape or form. Win or lose, leave audience feeling like they could go out and win the Boston marathon right then and there. Because after all, with hard work and a give-em-hell attitude, anything is possible.

It works. It just does. It’s a recipe that never fails, kind of like grilled cheese. Place cheese on bread. Top with more bread. Insert into Foreman grill. Remove at desired level of gooeyness. And just as everyone loves their grilled cheese as gooey as possible, so does everyone like their sports movies as inspirational and exciting as possible.

Real Steel delivered that. Hugh Jackman (X-Men, Australia) is Charlie Kenton, a washed up boxer who now makes his living fighting robots. I made that sound even cooler than it already is. He does not actually fight the robots himself, he drives them, sort of like a very intense video game, and the robots fight each other. And apparently they also fight bulls… to the death… Okay… Flagrant animal cruelty aside, robots fighting robots is pretty sweet. Then again, if the robots ever gain self-awareness, the People for the Ethical Treatment of Machinery will finally have a purpose. But then the robots will rebel and kill us all, so really there’s no point to this tangent.

Back on track, Charlie is not doing so well in the business. His robots keep getting the scrap knocked out of them until they’re worthless piles of rubble and he owes money to just about everybody. Out of the blue, he is notified that his ex-girlfriend/baby mama has died, and he has just won a brand new son. Seeing as he’d pretty much a drifter living out of a truck, Charlie is slightly less than enthused about it. He’s ready to sign over custody of Max (Thor’s Dakota Goyo) to the mother’s sister, but then strikes a deal to look after him for the summer.

Turns out Max loves robot fighting as much as Charlie, though the two of them don’t get along so well for a while. Then they find Atom in a junkyard. Atom is an old-school sparring robot, built so bigger, better robots had something to practice against (Seabiscuit much?) But at Max’s behest, they outfit him to be a fighter, and surprise, surprise, he’s actually pretty good at it!

What follows is a delightful tale of love, father-son bonding, overcoming adversity, and, of course, bloodthirsty robots. Jackman plays his signature surly loner with a perpetual five o’clock shadow. You know what, when an actor does a particular kind of character as well as that, I rarely care. Goyo is a loveable kid who actually manages to not be annoying unlike some movie kids… (coughcough). Evangeline Lilly (Lost) plays Jackman’s love interest, Bailey, and I quite liked their chemistry. It was sweet, believable and never overshadowed the more important goings-on.

The effects were good, the soundtrack was great, and the inevitable final showdown was another fun addition to the sports movie archives. I thoroughly enjoyed Real Steel, and it’s already been added to my shopping list for whenever I need a good, uplifting kick of adrenaline.

Starring: Hugh Jackman, Evangeline Lilly, Dakota Goyo

Directed by: Shawn Levy

Rated PG-13

2011

The Eagle: It Has Landed

What’s on now: Jeff Dunham’s Very Special Christmas Special, now streaming on Netflix. Speaking of which, what the HELL is up with the 60% price increase?!

Don’t call it a comeback! No, really. Don’t. Goodness only knows how long I’ll be able to make myself stick with writing this time.

Anyway, on to the real reason why you’re reading this. I honestly wasn’t expecting much out of The Eagle, starring Channing Tatum and Jamie Bell. I rented it because honestly, well, I think Channing is smokin’ hot.

But I was actually pleasantly surprised by the movie. Was it an Oscar-worthy period piece? Not really. But it was fun! It wasn’t quite as good as Gladiator (but seriously, what is?). If I was to list the Roman-era action/adventure flicks I’ve seen, number one being the best, it would look something like this:

1.     Gladiator

 2.     The Eagle

    3.     King Arthur

 4.     Centurion

           5.     The Last Legion

WHAAAT??? I liked The Eagle better than King Arthur???? BLASPHEMY. Clive Owen will shun me!

But it’s true. The two of them are VERY close. King Arthur has fancier fighting and a lot more of it. But The Eagle has no romance subplot. Not one. I’m not even terribly sure I remember a single female character in the movie at all. HALLELUJAH!

Don’t get me wrong, I have absolutely nothing against women in historically based adventure films. Quite the contrary. My favorite scene in any of the above movies was about six seconds long and it was in King Arthur when Keira Knightley and about four of her Pict girlfriends completely cluster-f****d some black-bearded Nordic buttmunch who looked like a cross between Hagrid and... well, Blackbeard. I just have a problem with romance for romance’s sake. Love triangles for the sake of sensational drama is even worse (*coughcough* LOST, although that was more like a love decagon).

So, onto the plot summary. The Eagle follows Marcus Flavius Aquila (Tatum), a super-studly young Roman officer. He’s out to reclaim his family’s honor, which was lost when his father led a legion into north Britain and never returned. He succeeds when he bravely defends his first command post from a British attack, but he is badly injured in the fight. He’s sent to his uncle’s villa to recuperate, though he is never expected to return to battle again. DonaldSutherland has the small role of Marcus’ uncle, Aquila.

No longer with the army, Marcus is lost, feeling like his life is suddenly without purpose. He may have made a name for himself in the battle, earning the love of his men and the respect of Roman politicians. But his father is still regarded as a failure. The legion he led, the one that disappeared, carried the golden standard of the eagle, Rome’s beloved symbol. The standard was lost when the legion disappeared. Marcus believes if he can recover the eagle, he will recover his father’s honor.

So he sets off to the unconquered territory north of Hadrian’s Wall with only his slave, a Briton named Esca (Jamie Bell), to accompany him. The rest of the film follows his journey battling enemies and nature and his own doubts about his people and himself.

I liked the chemistry between Channing and Jamie. They have this whole push-pull, love-hate bromance thing going on that’s kind of fun. Marcus never wanted a slave, but he saved Esca’s life, so Esca actually insists upon serving him. But all the while, Esca openly hates Rome and all her subjects, Marcus included, and everything it stands for. He has absolutely no problem sharing his feelings on the subject, which does cause a few doubts in Marcus’ mind. It’s an interesting relationship.

I also give major props to Channing. I thought I’d be watching his typical wangster character from Step Up and Coach Carter running around the British countryside in a funny Roman hat. Only the second part of that is true! He only wears the hat for a couple minutes in the first part of the movie, and he cleaned up his accent for the role. Really, he sounded very classy.

Thank GOODNESS they didn’t have the Roman characters speak in British accents. They were all American, which I’m pretty sure is a first in this kind of movie. I liked it, though. Everyone was consistent, too. Some movies (*coughcough VALKYRIE) have people from the same national background speaking in various different accents. I hate that. The Eagle didn’t do that.

But anyway, Channing did a surprisingly good job! I love him anyway because I just love him (I actually watched GI: Joe more than once, for goodness sake). But I was proud of him for this little foray into some fairly serious acting. He’s getting better! This was another “step up” (haha, see what I did there? Puns FTW) from Dear John, which I thought he did a good job in too. I mean, he cried convincingly. Twice. That counts for something in my book. I loved him in this and I hope he continues to do good things.

If you’re looking for some fun action, The Eagle might be just the thing for you. Especially if you liked King Arthur, Centurion and/or The Last Legion, it’s along the same lines. Or if you're looking for some battle scenes with sexy men who can also dance like it's nobody's business. Whatever floats your boat!

Starring: Channing Tatum, Jamie Bell, Donald Sutherland

Directed by: Kevin Macdonald

Rated PG-13

2011

Source Code: Delightfully confusing

What’s on now: Listening to Kris Allen’s CD on my iTunes. I’ve wanted it since it came out two years ago, and I finally ordered it off Amazon last week. So worth the wait.

I went to see Jake Gyllenhaal’s new action-thriller Source Code with a friend over the weekend. We both thoroughly enjoyed the film, from guessing the answers to the mysteries to cheering for Jake in all his hotness. It was certainly a head-scratcher that will keep you guessing even after the credits roll.

My friend and I couldn’t stop rehashing what the heck just happened over calzones and cannolis afterwards. We nearly forgot to flirt with our cute waiter, we were so confused. But it was a good kind of confused. As much as they drive me insane for days afterwards, I quite enjoy movies that make me yell, “Wait... WHAT??” just as the screen goes black for the last time. This one was even more head-scratch-tastic than Inception’s ending! I shall say no more for fear of spoiling one or both of these movies for you.

Source Code follows the efforts of Captain Colter Stevens, played by Gyllenhaal, as he tries to figure out who bombed a Chicago passenger train earlier that morning. Up in the Air’s Vera Farmiga plays Captain Goodwin, the Air Force technician who is helping Colter through the assignment. Using highly sophisticated simulation technology, Colter is repeatedly sent “back in time,” (it is established early on that the program is NOT actual time travel) to the consciousness of one of the train passengers. From there he has to unravel the attack before the bomber strikes again, this time in the heart of downtown Chi-Town.

Michelle Monaghan (Eagle Eye) plays Christina, a woman on the train, who happens to be the girlfriend of the person whose body Colter is inhabiting. She’s a sweet woman who wins Colter’s heart, even mid-mission, until he becomes basically obsessed with saving her and the rest of the people on the doomed train. But Source Code, as the program is called, is not time travel. The people Colter is seeing on this train are already dead and can’t be saved. All Colter can do is try to find the bomber before he kills more innocent civilians.

And one more thing. He only has eight minutes to do it.

I definitely would and already have recommended this movie to pretty much anyone. It’s got action, it’s got mystery, it’s even got a little romance, but nothing too distracting from the fact that there’s a big-ass bomb on the train.

In all fairness, however, even though I really liked this movie, the ending bothered me a bit. They get you going thinking it’s going to end a certain way, and I had made my peace with it. As sad or upsetting as it might have been, I think it would have been the best way to do it. But then they throw you this massive curveball in the last two minutes that actually makes no sense at all when you think about it. Not that science fiction-ish action movies always need to make sense, but this one did have some blaring holes in the plot.

I’m willing to forgive Source Code, however. For one thing, it didn’t try to jump on the 3D conformist bandwagon (Hallelujah!!) even though they probably could have if they had forced it. There were more than a few epic explosions, after all. Secondly, I really enjoyed Jake’s performance (almost made me forget Prince of Persia ever happened), as well as his interactions with Monaghan and Farmiga. He really makes you feel for the character of Colter, who’s just trying to save people and keeps getting blown up over and over again for it. And at one point he even gets hit by another train. Yeowch.

Good cast, good effects, good story, good movie.  Definitely worth the price of a movie ticket.

Starring: Jake Gyllenhaal, Michelle Monaghan, Vera Farmiga

Directed by: Duncan Jones

Rated PG-13

2011

Red Riding Hood, a.k.a. Team Jacob: The Movie

What’s on now: NCIS on USA, which I never watch but figured I’d give a go.

A medieval village is plagued by a werewolf. Every full moon the villagers sacrifice the best of their livestock so the beast won’t eat the people. But the peace is broken when the monster kills a girl, and the hunt for the wolf begins.

Amanda Seyfried (Mamma Mia!, Mean Girls) and Gary Oldman (The Dark Knight, The Fifth Element) were the two most recognizable faces in the cast. Seyfried played the revamped version of Little Red Riding Hood, whose name is Valerie, apparently. Oldman was Father Solomon, a priest obsessed with ridding the world of witches and werewolves after his wife (didn’t think “Fathers” had those...) turned out to be a werewolf and he had to kill her to protect his kids.

Two unknowns (at least they were to me) served as the eye candy in this flick: Shiloh Fernandez and Max Irons. Shiloh (now there’s a name) played Peter, the boy Valerie loves and wants to spend the rest of her life with. Max (who it turns out is the son of Jeremy Irons, yay!) is the handsome rich boy who likes Valerie and is engaged to her through an arranged marriage. Ooooh, a love triangle.

Wait. Hold up. A love triangle...? Werewolves...?

Where have I heard this before?

Don’t worry, Red Riding Hood isn’t exactly a Twilight rip-off. At least I don’t think it is. I haven’t actually seen or read any Twilight products (I’m a vampire purist and therefore refuse to touch them). Thank goodness there was not a single mention of the bloodsuckers in this movie.

In all, it was okay. Some of the lines were a little corny (“I could eat you up”), and the special effects were mediocre. I mean, they were fine, I was just expecting something a little... more. The wolf is exactly that... a wolf. Albeit an extra-large, extra-fluffy wolf with homicidal tendencies. Most creature movies these days take a crack at making a werewolf look different (a la Harry Potter or Van Helsing). The wolf in this movie looked like my sister’s cat, Schemy. And no, I’m not even exaggerating. ...It's a funnier joke if you actually know Schemy.

I was expecting something more along the lines of The Village. I didn’t think we’d ever actually see the wolf, it would all just be scary flashes and innuendos to people getting ripped to shreds. Nope, they were very forthcoming with their monster, and there was no huge twist in the end. Like, they weren’t all dreaming or in purgatory or something. It was fun to keep guessing who the wolf was (it’s established fairly early that it is one of the villagers). I was right! Mwahaha! But it wasn’t obvious, and I second-guessed myself quite a few times before the credits rolled.

I did like the score quite a bit. I’m a fan of movies set in past time periods that are set to more modern music (driving drum beats, electric guitar and the like). The part of the film when this is most noticeable is during a festival the villagers have after they think they’ve killed the wolf (turns out they’re just dumb). I thought they were playing Flyleaf for a second. I love that music, so I thought it was cool, but they were riding the line on that one a little.

I loved Amanda’s dress, though. It was a fairly simple light-blue costume, the kind of thing you would expect to see in a medieval-esque costume. The big red cloak she wore was neat too. It made me wish I could get something just like it and pull it off. Somehow I don’t think that would be acceptable at work, though. Unless I get that job at the Renaissance Fair.

I suppose the biggest turnoff for me would actually be something that the poor movie probably didn’t even have control of, and that is the unshakeable feeling that this movie was made just to cash in on the necrophilia/bestiality craze that has swept the globe. Max and Shiloh even kind of look like Edward and Jacob. Max has that more delicate, pale handsomeness (thank GOD the boy didn’t glitter). Shiloh is darker featured, more devilishly charming. He’s also the new version of the woodsman, by the way, which I thought was a pretty cool way to do it. Who doesn’t like sexy young lumberjacks?

Red Riding Hood was all right. I saw it with my sister and we both liked it. Will I buy it? Probably not. Definitely put it on your list of rentals at least. Should you go see it in theatres? Sure. It could be a fun date movie, for any guys or girls out there who want an excuse to be jittery and grab a special someone’s hand when the wolf jumps out. And the ending is actually kind of romantic. My sister thought it was sweet. I laughed.

Starring: Amanda Seyfried, Gary Oldman, Shiloh Fernandez, Max Irons

Directed by: Catherine Hardwicke

Rated PG-13

2011