Triple Whammy: Glowing hair, homicidal mist and... girl on girl?

What’s on now: The Wind That Shakes the Barley now streaming on Netflix. I was feeling nostalgic for Ireland, probably my favorite place on earth. Turns out Cillian Murphy is actually quite handsome. You can’t really tell by his usual gig as some murdering psychopath (a la Red Eye and Batman Begins).

First of all, I apologize for my long absence. I’ve been home for winter break for the past month and had neither the time nor the desire to really get on this. Sorry to leave like that when I had only just started this thing, but I’m back now!

To make up for my disappearance, I’ve decided to talk about the three new movies I got a chance to see in theatres during my vacation, starting with my favorite.

I wasn’t expecting to like Tangled, Disney’s latest animated feature. The cast was mostly made of non-hoursehold-name actors, the kind of folks that are usually only recognized by die-hard movie buffs and random trivia-seekers. I realize now that was probably because, as with most Disney flicks, the actors did all of their own singing. Mandy Moore was the biggest name attached as the voice of Rapunzel. Zachary Levi played the devilishly charming Flynn Rider (who knew Chuck had such a nice singing voice?) and Donna Murphy, of Center Stage and Spider-Man 2 recognition, rounded out the primaries as Mother Gothel. There was even a cameo by Brad Garrett, so what’s not to love?

I was wondering how Disney was going to go about this story. Have you ever read the original fairytale? It’s incredibly dark, with lots of blood and violence. I barely remember it, but I think at one point the prince fell from the tower into a patch of thorns and was blinded. Spoiler alert, that does not happen in Tangled. This revamp of the tale of Rapunzel was very light and fun, complete with a handful of catchy musical numbers and plenty of laughs, not to mention possibly the cutest little animal sidekick in any Disney film yet. Even without dialog, Pascal the chameleon (random, no?) stole scenes with his adorable antics.

The basic plot of the story is thus: A magical flower born from a drop of sunlight has the power to heal and restore when a special tune is sung to it. The flower is used to save Rapunzel’s mother when she falls ill during her pregnancy. After the princess is born, she is endowed with the same power in her golden hair. Mother Gothel, a nasty old woman, wants the power to herself so she can stay young forever. She realizes the girl’s hair loses its power once cut, so she kidnaps the child from her royal parents and hides her in a tower deep in the woods.

Eighteen years later, Rapunzel wants nothing more than to go outside. She finally gets her chance when Flynn Rider, a charming rogue thief, stumbles upon her sanctum while running from the law.

The climax near the end of the tale was the best part. I absolutely will not divulge what happens, but it actually had me tearing up, it was so romantically heartbreaking. In all, Tangled is a fun film for the whole family. I was worried I would be a little too old for it, but I was wonderfully mistaken. I would definitely see it again in theatres, and it’ll be on my shopping list when it hits DVD.

Starring: Mandy Moore,  Zachary Levi and Donna Murphy
Directed by: Nathan Greno and Byron Howard
Rated PG
2010

Next on the docket is the third installment of C.S. Lewis’ Chronicles of Narnia, The Voyage of the Dawn Treader. The next film in the series follows Lucy and Edmund as they once again find themselves in Narnia, this time also with their maddeningly snotty and peckish cousin Eustace. They join their old friend Caspian, now king of Narnia, on a voyage to find seven of his father’s old exiled supporters.

It was a little odd to me that Caspian, played by Ben Barnes, went from having a Spanish/Mediterranean accent in the last movie to a British one in this film. The change was a welcome one, the old accent sounding a bit forced from Barnes at times in movie two.

I enjoyed the movie for the most part. It didn’t exactly have me biting my nails or my heart pounding (although the battle with the sea monster had me going for a bit), but it was a solid addition to an already solid series of films. The books are very short, so naturally the screenwriters took some liberties with the plot, but I didn’t notice any blasphemous alterations.

I don’t know as of yet whether they’re planning to continue the saga. Will Poulter gave a lovely performance as Eustace, so I wouldn’t mind seeing him again. The next book, The Silver Chair, does not feature any of the original Pevensie children, but rather follows a new adventure for Eustace and a new character Jill Pole, who had an amusing mention at the end of Dawn Treader that is sure to tickle fans of the books. After that is The Last Battle, in which Eustace, Jill and all the Pevensies are back for one last adventure, but there’s no telling whether the filmmakers will go that far. They’ve already skipped The Magician’s Nephew and The Horse and His Boy, so there’s really no telling.

Voyage of the Dawn Treader was an all-around good film, especially if you’re already a fan of the other films.

Starring: Georgie Henley, Skandar Keynes, Will Poulter and Ben Barnes
Directed by: Michael Apted
Rated PG
2010

And now, last but not least, Black Swan.

Even now, I’m somewhat at a loss as to how to explain my reaction, but I’m certain the letters WTF would be involved.

Black Swan follows the story of Nina Sayers, an accomplished ballerina who is finally given her big break with the leading role in her company’s production of Swan Lake. However, the stress soon begins to take a heavy toll on Nina, who has struggled with psychiatric problems in the past. She experiences horrifying hallucinations that will make even the most steadfast of audience members squeamish. Even the mild bits used in the trailer still give me the willies.

Natalie Portman stars as Nina, and I have to give major props to her preparation for the role. She dances wonderfully in her ballet scenes, looking as if she’s been doing this forever. Mila Kunis is a firecracker as Nina’s frenemy rival.

The rumors are true, folks. This film contains some serious sexual content, including girl on girl oral. Just because it turns out to have been a hallucination doesn’t really do much to detract from the shock factor. You never “see” anybody’s parts per se, but prudes and children are nevertheless advised to keep away.

I can certainly see why this film has garnered a lot of attention from the awards committees. It’s dark and deep, with absolutely fantastic dancing and acting. I’d say it was worth seeing, even the bits where I had my eyes covered, and I certainly appreciate it as a film. But if I never see it again, I think I’ll be all right.

In fact, I think I'll be far better off.

Starring: Natalie Portman, Mila Kunis and Vincent Cassel
Directed by: Darren Aronofsky
Rated R
2010