What’s on now: Catching up on Supernatural. Sigh, Jensen Ackles and Jared Padalecki are so very very awesome.
Apparently I’m on a robot-violence kick.
The latest installment in the Transformers saga, Transformers: Dark of the Moon, was pretty much exactly what I was expecting – a whole lot of flash, not a lot of sustenance. I do strive to be fair, however, so I have to admit I was very pessimistic about it going in. I liked the first film, but the second one was “meh” at best, "WTF" at worst. The third one was on the same level as the second.
Part of the problem, I think, was that it tried too hard to be funny. There were too many goofy antics from too many characters. If or when the robots take over the world (mostly depending on whether the aliens or zombies get there first), somehow I don’t think we’ll be laughing about it. Not until we’ve all gone stark raving mad from the post traumatic stress, that is. Snark, sarcasm, and gallows humor I could understand in that situation, not slapstick.
The plot is basically the same as the last two movies. Autobots good, Decepticons bad. Decepticons enact devious plans, Autobots team up with usual suspects consisting of awkward kid, awkward kid’s mega-hot girlfriend, and a handful of America’s finest to stop aforementioned devious plans.
Shia LaBeouf reprises his role as awkward kid Sam Witwicky, who is struggling to find a job since there isn’t much call for people who majored in extra-terrestrial delegation. That just goes to show you, kids, getting a job is all about the interview. It doesn’t matter where you went to school or how many times you’ve saved the world or how unrealistically hot your girlfriend is, if you’re a total spaz in front of the prospective boss, you’re going to be living with mommy a little while longer.
Josh Duhamel, Tyrese Gibson and John Turturro return in their previous roles as well. Victoria’s Secret model Rosie Huntington-Whiteley is a newcomer as Sam’s new girlfriend. Megan Fox was fired from the gig for some questionable comments made in a Wonderland Magazine interview in 2009, comparing director Michael Bay to a certain insane German dictator from the 1940s. The comments, though they barely bothered Bay (say that five times fast), certainly ruffled the feathers of executive producer Steven Spielberg, and he ordered her firing.
Overall, it was just overdone, and it ended kind of abruptly. The acting was too melodramatic, except for John Malkovich’s. He usually plays crazy anyway, so his performance was actually perfectly normal. The comedy was too goofy, forced and over-done, and the action… well, it’s a Michael Bay movie. Over-the-top action is kind of par for the course and is actually excusable in this case. There are over a dozen giant alien robots doing battle on the streets of Chi-Town, after all.
I will say this, I have a ton of respect for the special effects crew. I wonder how many programmers, designers and computer geeks sacrificed their sanity to make the robot fights look so good. I mean, you could see every little sprocket, gear, plate, paint chip, speck of dirt, every part of every robot. And that scene with the skyscraper cracking in half andfalling over that was the headliner of all the trailers? That was pretty cool. Because apparently the Decepticons have access to a kraken. Deceptikraken.
In summary, if you liked the first two movies, the third is more of the same. Mindless action, weird humor, giant robot battles, loud noises and hot chicks. For me, it was only so-so. For you? I would say go by your reaction to the second film. If you liked it, you might like this one, too. If you hated it… you probably won’t miss this one all that much.
Now, I’m off to go sign up for base jumping lessons, because apparently it’s going to be a necessary skill during the robot apocalypse.
Starring: Shia LaBeouf, Rosie Huntington-Whiteley, Josh Duhamel, Tyrese Gibson, John Turturro, Frances McDormand and John Malkovich
Directed by: Michael Bay
Rated PG-13
2011
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